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Raquel's Side: Raquel's Perspective

I can hear her swishing and expectorating from my room. I have a visceral reaction to it.

Raquel has resided with her housemate for a couple of years, after they both experienced separations and required a different home to reside. She’s fun and considerate, but what annoys her at home is Gina’s propensity to brush her teeth around the house.

She has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and is frequently juggling three tasks at once. She will leave her keys in the door, which Raquel is concerned about, or misplace where she placed her toothbrush in the morning.

Raquel will return and find that Gina has abandoned it on the side of the kitchen counter after brushing, which Raquel considers disgusting, because the kitchen is for cooking, not for spitting. It’s where produce get washed and cups are rinsed. It isn't meant to be where Raquel looks down and spots a foam trail of toothpaste dripping towards the plughole.

There, Gina displays another bad habit – she takes water directly from the tap while brushing her teeth. Rarely, not twice, but multiple times a session to rinse out her mouth.

She bends over, draws water straight from the tap, moves it around her mouth and expels it. I can hear the noisy routine from my room, and it causes a visceral response. I rest there and shudder. Why not just use a glass?

I is uncertain if Gina’s mouth is contacting the tap, but I prefers not to know. It's the identical faucet Raquel employs when she cleans my face and when she refills her water bottle.

I believes it's not her being precious. It relates to cleanliness, and understanding that shared spaces require mutual respect. Oral hygiene should be restricted to the bathroom basin, and done without turning the tap into a communal drinking fountain.

Gina has said that she'll attempt to stop, but every time Raquel asks, she stops for about a seven days and then resumes again.

Residing with someone with attention disorders is demanding at the easiest moments, but at times Raquel believes she uses it as an excuse. Raquel isn't flawless, but if someone asks her to adjust something, I will try to accommodate. She could make an effort a little harder.

Gina's Side: Gina's View

Living with attention deficit is challenging, besides, the kitchen is not some untouchable exclusive zone.

Gina argues that her roommate is exaggerating and missing the full picture. Gina sometimes cleans my teeth in the kitchen sink, sips from the bathroom tap and forgets my belongings out of place, but that’s just a part of living with a mind like mine.

Gina live with ADHD, and that means getting sidetracked easily. In the early hours before leaving, I will clean her teeth at the same time as wearing my shoes, or making my lunch in the kitchen because I is multitasking.

The kitchen basin has water flow and drains just like the bathroom sink, and it all goes in the same pipes. It’s not, as she believes, some sacred food-only zone.

I cleans the sink post-use – I is not leaving spit floating around. And, in fact, the kitchen basin likely gets cleaned more frequently than the bathroom. I additionally doesn't do this daily. It's only signs if Gina leaves her toothbrush on the side, which she shouldn’t do but my mind overlooks to return it sometimes.

Regarding the faucets, many people drink from them. I grew up doing it. My sibling and Gina would often brush our teeth like this. To Gina, it’s normal to rinse your mouth out by drinking from the tap. Using a glass every time feels like unnecessary admin.

I doesn't put her whole mouth around the faucet, I just sort of hovers, or tilts the flow towards her and catches it. The way Raquel imagines it, it’s like I am a feline with a bowl, licking it clean.

I prefers to rinse thoroughly, so I will take around five chugs, which might sound excessive, but it means her teeth feel clean.

Washrooms are not sterile laboratories, and microbes are everywhere. If not she is bleaching the tap daily, we’re both exposed to bacteria in the bathroom.

Living with the condition is hard. Additionally, I might list things Raquel practices that annoy me: everyone has annoyances, but Gina tolerates them because we share a home.

I cannot promise that she will change. She has tried not to walk around cleaning my teeth, but she keeps forgetting.

Reader Views

Ought Gina Stop Ignoring Raquel’s Concerns Away?

Several believe that Raquel should understand that housemates already share germs just by living together. Sipping from the faucet isn’t unhygienic – although Gina sucked on it – because the liquid is on the interior of the pipe.

However it sounds as if she believes her condition gives her a free pass. Gina should respect her discomfort and try to adjust her behaviour. Additionally, washing after cleaning your teeth washes away the protective ingredient – you should just spit.

Others note that Raquel’s discomfort at what she sees as innocuous quirks is about beyond toothbrushing. If she changes her routines, Raquel will quickly find issue with something else.

It sounds as if this living arrangement has reached its limit. Gina is correct that in shared spaces we must make accommodations, but she is declining to respect a reasonable request from her flatmate.

This is less about cleanliness than about consideration of boundaries. Using from the tap is acceptable, if there’s no direct mouth contact. But placing a brush on the kitchen sink is gross – period.

If she can learn to work with Gina’s ADHD, she can show willingness to adapt. Also, not washing after brushing my teeth means she will retain the benefits of her toothpaste and address multiple issues in one.

Now You Be the Judge

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